We’ve been exploring the divorce process lately, providing you with vital information and important tips to help you navigate this difficult passage, and ultimately, find a sense of wholeness once again.
We’ve mentioned in the past that grabbing a few good books on the subject of divorce is a wonderful way to find perspective, develop understanding, pick up some advice, have a few laughs, and perhaps gain peace of mind.
There is an incredible wealth of information out there. Some of it good, some bad. It’s smart to read reviews, ask around, see if anyone else you know has read a book you’re interested in, or try finding an article about it. Another way to gain an inside look at a few great books is to check out today’s article. Let’s take a look now at 5 books that can help you during a divorce.
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
by Susan J. Elliot
Our first recommendation is a wonderful book by author Susan J. Elliot that helps you heal, regain identity, and move forward with grace and confidence through a mix of positive affirmations and active journaling. The combination of guidance along with action on the reader’s part brings these lessons to life.
Covering everything from her strict no-contact rule to her 7 rules for making things easier on the kids and everything in-between, this book has the potential to help you turn one of the most difficult seasons of life into a transformative and strengthening experience.
Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way
by M. Gary Neuman
A respected rabbi, licensed family counselor and court-certified family mediator, Gary Neuman tackles one of the most difficult subjects in divorce, “How do I help my kids during this time?” Using his successful Sandcastles program, Neuman combines fun activities, various exercises, and hundreds of unique artworks by children, to create one of the most helpful and engaging books for kids and parents to explore together.
Both you and your child will find a wealth of support here, as your child gains understanding of themselves and their situation, and you gain greater understanding of how they’re processing this difficult season.
Some of the things you’ll learn include:
How to build a co-parenting relationship – even when you think you can’t
When you or your child should see a therapist
Age-appropriate scripts for addressing sensitive issues
What to do when a parent moves away
How to stop fighting with your ex-spouse
How to navigate custody and visitation
How to help your child navigate change
How to cope with child’s’ common fears
How to introduce significant others into the family
And much more.
An invaluable and must-have resource for any parent walking through this difficult time, this is one of the best books you’ll ever find for kids dealing with divorce.
Heartburn
by Nora Ephron
This largely autobiographical novel by one of Hollywood’s most beloved and respected screenwriters and directors is the perfect foil for your divorce depression. With her signature wit, clear-eyed observation, deep understanding of what makes each of us tick, refreshing honesty, compassion, and knowing humor, Nora’s self-inspired tale of Rachel Samsat, a pregnant cookbook writer contemplating divorce from a husband who’s been having an affair for some time, leaves a lasting mark on any reader, especially those struggling with divorce, separation, or infidelity.
If you want proof that healing is possible following divorce, look no further. Amazingly, she wrote this before she went on to create When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, and Julie and Julia, among several other projects. It’s clear that she not only found growth and healing, but lives on in our memory as a wonderful example of a strong, creative, successful, deeply engaged woman for younger generations to look up to.
No Breakup Can Break You: The Definitive Recovery Guide for Men
by Nick Dawson
When it comes to books and articles about divorce, the majority of them seem like they’re directed toward women. So it’s refreshing when one comes along that is specifically geared for men.
Nick Dawson’s frank and transparent look at divorce from a man who’s walked that path is quite a treasure. We find a book full of transparency, humor, sound observations, countless tips on everything from getting over your ex addiction and navigating loss, to preparing yourself for future relationships and developing yourself so you can become the man you’ve always wanted to be. This is a vital work of honesty, immediacy, and a chunk of tough love.
Breaking Upwards: How to Manage the Emotional Impact of Separation
by Charlotte Friedman
After life as a family barrister (that’s British for lawyer), she stepped over to the counselor’s chair to help people manage the stress and emotional fall-out of divorce. With a refreshing sense of calm confidence, she walks her readers through practical advice on getting through deep emotional pain, letting go of hurts, coping with an ex who has a new partner, talking with your children about divorce, and much more.
Using actual case studies and years of experience both in the courtroom and in the counselor’s office, Breaking Upwards is a compassionate, intelligent look at what it is to grieve during separation and how to move through core issues toward a healthy and hopeful future.
In closing
There are countless books, articles, and blogs on divorce. And you’ll certainly have no lack of people in your life wanting to put in their two cents on this trying and emotional process. What’s important is finding those people and resources that truly help, encourage, and move you through the stages of divorce toward healing.
These five great reads should be an excellent place to start, but please, keep on exploring. Divorce, separation, and grief are universal struggles. So there will always be new and unique perspectives on the subject. Don’t forget to connect with your counselor or attorney for some great book recommendations to help you through this difficult but important season of life.
Torrone Law helps individuals and families navigate divorce, separation, custody, and adoption with confidence and ease. Connect with us today to see how we can help you find wholeness again.
To learn more about divorce, check out our frequently asked questions and answers below.
FAQ
How long does it take to get over a separation?
Well, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. There are so many aspects of divorce and broken romantic relationships to contend with. The important thing to know is that you will get through it. Each person’s experience is unique, with individual personality traits, perspectives, ways of thinking and feeling, and choices that determine how they ultimately heal.
Don’t push yourself. Let yourself mend in your own time and continue to pursue support from qualified counselors, close friends, and trusted mentors.
There are so many books about divorce. How do I know which ones to choose?
You’ll never know exactly which divorce books to choose, since there are no perfect choices. Read reviews, especially from people who have walked or are walking through divorce. Ask divorced friends what books were helpful for them and see if your counselor or attorney has any good recommendations.
How do I support my kids’ journey with divorce while I’m dealing with so much grief?
This isn’t an easy one. Walking through a painful separation while trying to help your kids find understanding and healing at the same time is a huge job. It’s wise to begin by partnering with an experienced family therapist, clinical psychologist, or other mental health professional, one who works with you and your children, to make sense of all the changes.
Accept support and ask for help. Your friends and family want to be there for you. It’s easy to just say no and pretend we can handle everything. But we all need this support. Let them be there for you to bring strength, encouragement, advice, practical help, and even a healthy distraction when things get overwhelming.
